And in waiting to write I'm sure I miss things ... But to recap ...
School ended weeks ago, got decent grades, all ready to go for next semester. Christmas came and went. It was really cool, the build up to the holiday. The crafts, the decorations, the treats, the anticipation, the pics with Santa, the eve at Auntie's house and the morning with paper and bows strewn about the house and too many gifts for the kids to even know what to do with. I love it ... they loved it ... and it's time to take down that tree and regain that three feet of space in the dining room.
R had her tonsils out, as well as adenoids, on the 29th. She's sleeping soundly behind me, I will have to wake her in a bit to give her meds for pain only to have her fall back to sleep. I hope she falls back to sleep, it's almost 1AM. The other thing about all this is I do this alone, again ... tending to my kid alone. This never seems to ... like it always bugs me. Always freshens the sting of that ex of mine being a waste of good breathable air ... too harsh? Maybe ... I'm in a bit of a mood.
It's new years eve tomorrow ... I will be home with R, which is really A-OK with me. It's where I need to be tending to my girl. However ... I know I would rather be out whooping it up after the kids are in bed and enjoying the adulthood that I wish I could enjoy.
Lately I have been thinking ALL too much about what I wish I'd done instead ... I HATE when I get in these moods. As a base line NO I do not wish to take away my kids and change my life BUT if I could go back and I know that I wouldn't know about my life as it is today ... I WOULD do things differently. Anyway ... I wont make a list of what I wish was different ... maybe at another time.
Ending on this note ... as I am trying to get back into ... I am grateful for the roof and walls surrounding us and keeping us from the elements. I am thankful for a loving family and a means to provide for at least what we have, thankful for the parents that help the rest of the way. Thankful for the healthy girls I have and health of self.
Tomorrow is New Years Eve ...
You were one of my very first followers and I remember when you added me I was so surprised..."Someone really wants to read something I have say?"
ReplyDeleteI have checked in on you sporadically and am so happy to see you writing more and that I can "follow" you now!
Oh Annette!!! I love reading what you have to say, your progress and your backslides and your real life craziness. I totally appreciate all that you have to share with the world, I am grateful I can witness it.
ReplyDeleteI've lost my program ... I've just decided to fill my extra time with school (full time at night RN school, on top of the full time job and the 3 and 6 yr old kids). I would love to get back to alanon ... I am grateful for the tools that I do have but I know that I find more serenity when I am activly going to meetings.
And lately I don't feel very serene ...meh ... i'll find it again! Thanks for reading my complete randomness